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The Halfway Point | a high school reflections letter

Dear past me,

I guess... I don't think I would have made it this far successfully. I find it kind of funny how much I brushed off freshman year - big, big mistake. I'm already paying for it - I don't even need to look at college applications to know that. Everyone older than me tells me not to worry about college. Everyone my age tells me not to worry about college. Everyone younger than me tells me not to worry about college. Maybe they're right, but it's like a snowball effect. If I don't do well in high school, I won't get into a good college. If I don't get into a good college, I might have a harder time finding a job. And so on, and so forth. On the flip side, there's plenty of good opportunities even for people who go to community college, or people who don't go to college at all. It's very true that college is not the end all be all solution, but for me, sometimes it really does seems like it is.

I've... made friends I guess. My parents tell me that friends don't matter, don't make friends, you won't stay in touch anyways. But the friends they keep in contact with are their high school friends, not friends they made in college, which I find kind of strange. My friends who are going off to college tell me to make friends in high school, have fun, it matters less, but you'll still care about connections in college? I don't know, I guess I'm kinda making friends but I always get the vibe most people dislike me, so it's kinda hard for me, I guess? It's hard to say whether I really made friends at all, but I guess it's the people I talk to the most right? A lot of them give me curt responses and the such, always giving me that feeling that they don't really talk to me... oh yeah, and the Snapchat map update. Now I know when my friends are hanging out without me. (lol) that's like all the time. Even if that's just the way I feel, that's really the way it seems. Maybe it's my personality that's so off-putting, I don't know. Ah well.

Hey kid - girls don't matter (lol you knew that). So stop talking like you actually care. Because if you did care you would do something, but every time someone asks you whether you have you say you haven't because you're waiting until college! (lol) So stop talking like it! (and stop lowkey caring too please it's annoying thanks)

From, future me.